How Do You Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce?
Telling your spouse that you want a divorce is hard. You may not want to face them. You may not want to look them in the eye. You may not want them looking you in the eyes and asking you, “Why?”. In the long run, having a formal conversation is better for the divorce process and your post-divorce life than just being served with a divorce lawsuit.
Many people tell their spouse that they want a divorce by sitting down at the kitchen table and just having a conversation. Rip that band-aid off quickly. You could say, “I just want a divorce. I’m just not in love with you anymore. I want to move on with my life.” Maybe they will accept it, move their things out, and get on with their life. Most of the time that is not how the conversation goes. Typically, the conversation is a little more emotional. Your spouse may be upset, afraid, or even angry. You may be confronted or feel like you’re being attacked. So, you need to be prepared for how the conversation may go. What are you going to talk about? Understand and prepare for questions that they may ask. Anticipate the emotions that may come from your spouse, but don’t engage with them in their anger. Meeting anger with more anger will just make things worse.
It can also be valuable if you have a therapist, preferably a family therapist. Ideally, you may have been going together to couples therapy prior to the actual conversation about divorce. The divorce conversation could happen in the therapist’s office so that there’s a witness to give options on the next steps.
Whether you tell your spouse you want a divorce at the kitchen table or in a therapist’s office, you need to plan the conversation. It may be terribly unfair, but as the one breaking the news, you need to be prepared for any kind of response from them.
Our office is located at 3000 Weslayan, Suite 365, Houston, TX 77027. Our office number is (713) 526-2400.
Chris A. Spofford is a Houston-based divorce and family law attorney with over 30 years of experience. He has assisted thousands of Texans in navigating the complex waters of divorce and family law matters.
Chris was among the first lawyers in Texas to be trained in Collaborative Divorce in 2000. He has distinguished himself in both intense courtroom trials and through innovative alternatives such as divorce mediation and collaborative family law.
