How To Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce

In the delicate conversation of discussing your decision to divorce with your children, seeking professional guidance from a mental health expert such as a therapist experienced in handling children’s emotions during a divorce is always wise.  In most cases, it is best for you and your spouse to jointly tell your kids about the impending changes. These conversations are the most successful when handled together.  As their parents, you should reassure them that the divorce, while it will affect them, is not about them, and that you both will continue to love and care for them deeply. In this conversation, it is essential to emphasize that your children will maintain substantial contact with you both despite the changes.  You should encourage questions and maintain transparency with your children. That said, the children should be shielded from the actual divorce process. It is enough for them to know that you and your spouse and handling that and it is not something for them to worry about.

How this conversation unfolds will vary depending on the age of the children involved. Younger children often need more reassurance and are inclined to feel responsible for the divorce, believing they might have caused it somehow. Understanding this tendency is crucial as kids commonly assume blame for their parents’ separation.

Children today are more aware of divorce, making it less of a surprise when parents tell them of their decision. However, maintaining an honest, open, and compassionate dialogue is key.  Children’s emotional well-being during and after this transition greatly relies on the approach you take to communicate the changes happening in the family.

Ultimately, initiating a conversation about divorce with children necessitates empathy, honesty, and a willingness to address their concerns, setting the tone for a smoother adjustment to the new family dynamics.

Our office is located at 3000 Weslayan, Suite 365, Houston, TX 77027. To schedule a consultation or for more information call (713) 526-2400.

Chris A. Spofford, Family Law and Divorce Attorney
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Chris A. Spofford is a Houston-based divorce and family law attorney with over 30 years of experience. He has assisted thousands of Texans in navigating the complex waters of divorce and family law matters.

Chris was among the first lawyers in Texas to be trained in Collaborative Divorce in 2000. He has distinguished himself in both intense courtroom trials and through innovative alternatives such as divorce mediation and collaborative family law.

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